Introduction to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
What Is EFT and Why Does It Matter?
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is one of the most effective, research-backed approaches for helping couples repair ruptures, deepen connection, and build a secure bond. At Bozeman Therapy & Counseling, we specialize in EFT because it addresses the deepest need humans have in relationships—the need for emotional closeness and safety.
Whether you’re in Bozeman, Belgrade, Big Sky, Billings, or anywhere in Montana through online therapy, our team of trained clinicians can help you strengthen your relationship with EFT.
The Roots of EFT: Attachment Theory Basics
EFT is built on decades of research into attachment—the way humans connect with one another.
John Bowlby: Showed that humans thrive when they can reach for and receive comfort from loved ones.
Mary Ainsworth: Developed the Strange Situation study, identifying attachment styles in children: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.
Hazan and Shaver: Demonstrated that these same patterns show up in adult relationships.
Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg: Created EFT in the late 1980s, applying attachment science directly to couples.
A Brief History of EFT
Sue Johnson discovered that traditional scripted couples therapy wasn’t working. By analyzing video sessions, she noticed that what mattered most was how partners emotionally reached and responded to each other in real time. With colleague Les Greenberg, she developed EFT, which focuses not on surface conflict but on the emotional needs driving it.
Research shows EFT is highly effective:
75% of couples move from insecure to secure attachment.
90% of couples report significant improvement in their relationship.
At Bozeman Therapy & Counseling, we bring this research into practice every day with couples across Montana.
Principles of EFT in Practice
Our clinicians use EFT principles to create a safe, structured path toward healing:
Establishing in-session emotional safety.
Helping couples process emotions fully rather than staying at surface level.
Encouraging vulnerable sharing and responsive listening.
Building empathy and shifting negative self-beliefs.
Replacing destructive patterns with secure cycles of connection.
Goals of EFT
EFT helps couples break free from the negative cycle—the back-and-forth that keeps them stuck.
Anxious/Pursuing Partner: Fears abandonment, often reaches through criticism or blame.
Avoidant/Withdrawing Partner: Fears failure or conflict, often disengages or retreats.
Disorganized Partner: Experiences both fears intensely, leading to unpredictable push-pull dynamics.
At Bozeman Therapy & Counseling, we help partners identify their cycle, slow it down, and begin to share with vulnerability and compassion instead.
Contraindications of EFT
While EFT is highly effective, it is not recommended when:
Abuse is active.
An affair is ongoing.
Addiction is untreated.
One partner is pursuing an agenda other than connection.
What Makes EFT Different?
EFT stands apart from other attachment-based approaches because it provides:
A structured process across therapy sessions.
A focus on the present moment, not just the past.
The use of enactments, where partners share their emotions directly with each other in session.
This structure makes EFT both effective and deeply transformative for couples who commit to the process.
What to Expect in EFT Sessions
At Bozeman Therapy & Counseling, EFT sessions follow a clear trajectory:
Identify the negative cycle and stabilize conflict.
Foster emotional safety and encourage vulnerable sharing.
Repair attachment injuries, such as betrayals or moments of disconnection.
Consolidate new patterns of connection so couples can sustain progress long-term.
Over time, couples gain not just tools, but a new way of relating—one that builds lasting trust and intimacy.
Resources for Couples Interested in EFT
If you’d like to learn more about EFT and attachment theory, we recommend:
Secure Love by Julie Menanno
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Attachment Theory in Practice by Dr. Sue Johnson
Attachment in Psychotherapy by David Wallin
The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds by John Bowlby
For those ready to take the next step, our team at Bozeman Therapy & Counseling is here to guide you and your partner.
Start Therapy in Montana
Whether you’re looking for in-person sessions in Bozeman or secure online therapy anywhere in Montana, we are here to help. If you and your partner are ready to strengthen your relationship and build a secure bond, we invite you to begin today.
