Helpful Goals for Each Insecure Attachment Style

Written By Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC

Why Goals Matter for Healing Attachment

Working toward secure attachment doesn’t happen overnight—it requires intentional steps that help you understand yourself and your patterns in relationships. When you know your attachment style, you can set goals that directly target your biggest challenges and help you grow.

At Bozeman Therapy & Counseling, our individual therapy services are designed to help you identify these patterns, explore your emotions safely, and build skills that support healthier connections. Whether you struggle with anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment, therapy can provide the tools and guidance to move toward security.

Goals for Anxious Attachment

  • Learn how to comfort yourself when emotions feel overwhelming

  • Practice emotional regulation skills

  • Face that you may want intimacy and fear it at the same time

  • Learn how to talk about your vulnerability instead of focusing on what your partner is doing wrong

  • Make connections between childhood experiences and current abandonment fears

Goals for Avoidant Attachment

  • Recognize that you may struggle to access and communicate feelings

  • Learn how to share your vulnerability instead of withdrawing from conflict

  • Consider that true intimacy does exist, even if you’ve never fully experienced it

  • Make connections between childhood experiences and current fears of failure in relationships

Goals for Disorganized Attachment

  • Seek out therapy or education that specifically addresses trauma

  • Understand that the survival strategies you developed in childhood were necessary at the time, but may not serve you now

  • Use any of the goals listed under anxious and avoidant attachment that resonate with your experience

How Individual Therapy Can Help

Our therapists in Bozeman specialize in attachment-based individual therapy. This approach helps you:

  • Understand how your past experiences still shape your relationships today

  • Learn emotional regulation strategies that calm your nervous system

  • Practice sharing vulnerability in a safe and supportive environment

  • Build a stronger, more secure sense of self

If you’re ready to begin this work, our team is here to walk with you every step of the way.

Request an Appointment
Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC

Julie Menanno, MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. Julie operates a clinical therapy practice in Bozeman, Montana, and leads a global relationship coaching practice with a team of trained coaches. She is an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples and specializes in attachment issues within relationships.

Julie is the author of the best-selling book Secure Love, published by Simon and Schuster in January 2024. She provides relationship insights to over 1.3 million Instagram followers and hosts The Secure Love Podcast, where she shares real-time couples coaching sessions to help listeners navigate relational challenges. Julie also hosts a bi-weekly discussion group on relationship and self-help topics. A sought-after public speaker and podcast guest, Julie is dedicated to helping individuals and couples foster secure, fulfilling relationships.

Julie lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband of 25 years, their six children, and their beloved dog. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, skiing, Pilates, reading psychology books, and studying Italian.

https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/
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